


the ocean is too common for me

by cano



Category: League of Legends RPF
Genre: 'one-sided', M/M, a fic in which they try to use each other and it ends terribly, hello i am back with my mutual pining over other people and sad angst shit, is it really, oh no emotions, or so i say, thats it thats the fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-16
Updated: 2017-08-16
Packaged: 2018-12-16 01:03:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11817954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cano/pseuds/cano
Summary: Here is the arrangement: Kang Chanyong and Kwon Jimin are sleeping together.





	the ocean is too common for me

**Author's Note:**

> ~~Hello I am alive~~
> 
>  
> 
> but not really, long story short, some shit went down in LCK involving some players, and it made me sick to the point where I left the fandom. I left, but then I saw these fics sitting so pretty and incomplete on my drive, and before I knew it I was finishing them up and posting it here. I don't think I'll be active as I was before ~~oh sorry, you call that active you lazy-~~ but I might be uploading some unfinished/hastily wrapped up works because they have nowhere to go and I spent time on those, might as well as post it.
> 
> So, long rant about eSports aside (it is hell, do not get into it), about the fic: angst, pros being emotionally stunted about FEELINGS all that usual shit y'all expect from me by this point. Inspired by twitter convos _again_ , someone retweeted the phrase "the ocean is too common for me" and it kinda went downhill from there. Started in winter 2016, and it's set sometime between 2016-17, aka that strange time between Offseason and Spring. 
> 
> So, enjoy.

 

 

**i. this is the arrangement**

 

As it is with some things in life, they have an arrangement, and this is how it works: there is a line, and neither of them crosses it. 

 

The line is not defined. They never really discussed the boundaries, the yes and the no’s, and what’s off-limits. If anybody asks, they’re fully grown adults, they can both handle themselves, they know when and where to back off _thank you very much._

 

(But no one’s asking, really)

 

Here is the arrangement: Kang Chanyong and Kwon Jimin are sleeping together.

 

 

**ii. on the definition of what this is, really**

 

It’s really fitting to call what they have an arrangement rather than a relationship. Maybe it’s best to define what they do as “sex friends” or “fuck-buddies”. 

 

They have sex once a week maybe, depending on the match schedules and how stressed Chanyong is (his fingers twitching for a cigarette even though he quit long ago is usually a sure giveaway) or how annoyed Jimin gets (annoyed is a nice, neutral term that doesn’t actually cover the crushing disappointment, the bitterness, and the anger he feels when he’s not the starter this week, _again_ ).

 

It’s nice, it’s uneventful. It’s an efficient way to scratch the itch and get rid of pent-up stresses without the drama and the responsibilities of an actual relationship, where emotions are expected and there are requirements such as _time spent together_  and _commitments_. 

 

At least, that’s the excuse.

 

 

**iii. how it all started**

 

It wasn’t during the season, and that’s all Chanyong remembers about it because he doesn’t drink during the season, and he’d downed a shot as soon as he managed to comprehend what the _fuck_  Kwon Jimin was saying to him, because _the_ _fuck_?

 

“What?” he’d managed to choke out.

 

They had currently crawled into this dinky little pub for a drink, while the good little underaged younglings were in bed. They’d been discussing past relationship, Chanyong managed to remember. He’d been waxing poetic about his last trainwreck of a breakup, something that he’d not yet recovered from, not sure if he’ll ever recover. 

 

So it had to be excused, really, when he couldn’t really comprehend that Jimin had just asked for a no-strings attached relationship from Chanyong. _Very nice timing to ask for a fuckbuddy, when you’re monologuing about an ex_ , Chanyong had thought bitterly. A thousand questions had ran through his mind.

 

“Why?” he had finally settled on. “Why me?” 

 

_Out of all the people that would kneel at your feet, beg at your table for scraps, why choose a guy who’s still half-broken by his last relationship and can’t function? Why choose someone who isn’t even interested in you at all?_

 

Jimin had half-smiled, eyelashes ghosting over his lowered gaze, looking so demure, so desirable and Chanyong had thought, _there are people out there who’d kill for that one look from you, there are people who’d kill to be in my place._

 

“Because other people are too obvious,” he had said, lip twisting in a smile, eyes dark and glittering in the cheap lights of the pub-joint, and it painted a picture too beautiful to be real, too promising to be true. “They’re too common for me.”

 

 

**iv. that time with the kiss**

 

Kissing Jimin — as Chanyong finds out — tastes like cigarette ash, and Chanyong swears he can feel the nicotine from Jimin’s mouth as they kiss. 

 

It’s enough to curb his cravings for a smoke every once in a while.

 

 

**v. rumor has it**

 

There’s no need to announce it to the world what their relationship is, so the only people who know about this arrangement are: 

 

The coach, obviously because when Chanyong and Jimin disappear together and show up on the doorstep with the same clothes on as last night, he suspects something. 

 

Seongjin, because one time he caught them making out in Jimin’s room and didn’t look either of them in the eye for three weeks straight. 

 

And finally, Yongin, because he’s some kind of a psychic, honestly, and Chanyong secretly suspects that it has something to do with the fact that Yongin is a supporter, and also the fact that Jimin can’t keep at secret from his same-position teammate to save his life.

 

 

**vi. the line that is not meant to be crossed**

 

The line is a flimsy, invisible thing between them. They haven’t discussed it, they don’t exactly know the bounds; only the general sense of it, and neither of them do not come even close to the line to cross it.

 

But you see, the line is flimsy — it’s as if it’s written in sand. It’s that much ephemeral, that temporary.

 

_The ocean is too common for me_ , Chanyong remembers that line he read somewhere, in a book maybe, ages ago. He thinks it’s a fitting phrase for someone like Jimin, because Jimin doesn’t want the ocean. He wants the lines in the sand, the temporary flimsy things that will scatter in a heartbeat.

 

 

 

 

 

**vii. regarding teammates**

 

“He likes you, you know.” 

 

Chanyong doesn’t ask _who_  nor bothers denying with anything like _he doesn’t like me_. Because he isn’t good at playing dumb, and Jimin isn’t dense. And it’s not like he hasn’t noticed the gaze of the team’s midlaner, practically glued to his backside.

 

“He’ll get over it. He’s just a kid,” _he doesn’t know the difference between admiration and a crush,_  Chanyong doesn’t say.

 

“You aren’t doing him any favors, you know. By pretending you don’t notice.” Jimin points out, and silently Chanyong agrees because the puppy-eyed stares in his direction are nothing if not obvious, but admits nothing because he doesn’t want to give Jimin the satisfaction.

 

“He’s young,” Chanyong starts, but Jimin snorts at the all-too-trite dialogue of ‘young and does’t know any better’ and interrupts him with a "Yeah, I get it.” 

 

“Besides,” Jimin continues, as if ignoring what Chanyong just said. “Isn’t he your type?” 

 

“What do you mean?” _are you implying I have a type fromone past ex you know, and that’s insulting, not to mention that it ticks me off —_

 

“You know, someone transparent to the point he can’t hide a crush.”

 

There’s a knowing smile on Jimin’s face and for a moment, all Chanyong feels is white-hot rage at Jimin, before logic kicks in and says, all he did was point out the truth. Still, the rage doesn’t go anywhere, so Chanyong quickly turns around and walks into his room (his _personal_ room, thank god he doesn’t share with anyone), slamming the door a bit hard on the way. It might have seemed like he was running away. He doesn’t care.

 

Alone, the rage is mostly directed at himself — for being found out, but mostly because Jimin pinpoints exactly what he found adorable (it exasperated him to no end, but adorable nevertheless) about Hojong, and his current team’s midlaner was just like him in that way — 

 

_Stop it_ , he mentally tells himself, and bites his lip hard until the pain distracts him from the self-loathing thoughts cycling through his head.

 

 

**viii. that time with the great sex that they both do not mention, ever**

 

“You can pretend I’m him, if you want.” 

 

“What?” Chanyong is panting and his mind is hazy with low-thrumming pleasure from being inside Jimin. So _excuse_ him a little if he’s being a bit slow right now.

 

“I said, you can pretend I’m him if you want,” Jimin repeats, sounding like he’s a little bit annoyed. 

 

“You know, your last boyfriend. _Lee Hojong._ ” 

 

And it’s like Jimin has been trying all week to goad Chanyong into something, and finally, _finally_ something inside Chanyong snaps. 

 

“Ah, but shouldn’t _I_ be the one to say that?” and the smile on Chanyong’s face is downright cold.

 

“ _You_  can pretend I’m somebody else,” he says, bringing a hand to close around Jimin’s pale lovely throat. Jimin’s eyes widen. “Someone who actually wants you.” He whispers in Jimin’s ear, low and cruel.

 

Jimin’s eyes glaze over at that, lust suddenly spiking up in them, and Chanyong thinks, _ah, hell._  He abandons all previous restraint and tightens his hold a little, before letting go, then viciously biting at the red finger-marks on the skin.

 

The rest of the night goes without talking sans the moans of pleasure, and the sound of skin on skin. It’s the best sex they’ve ever had.

 

They don’t talk about it, ever.

 

 

**ix. the one time Chanyong crosses the line**

 

The one time, the only time either of them crosses the metaphorical line between them, it’s Chanyong.

 

“Stay,” he says, maybe begs. He’s not sure. 

 

Worlds is over, they’re second place, and SKT won again. Now the dreaded Offseason is upon them and everyone is all too aware of the axes above their heads, although Samsung is one of the lucky teams. Most of the members had been offered renewals on their contracts. Although they made a huge improvement, they still haven’t _won_ , and it’s— it’s bitter. 

 

Not everyone stays. Sungju and Yeongjae leaves, and it’s not _fair_  to feel so hollow when they do, although they hardly ever got to start during the regular season and had to literally sit on their asses the entire time during Worlds— 

 

and Jimin too, even though the team declared _him_  the official substitute, the sixth man on the Official Riot Games Roster Entry, he didn’t get to play past the Group Stages. Jaehyuk had better synergy with Yongin, and switching supports back and forth would have just messed up the rhythm — 

 

Chanyong _knows_ , knows that Jimin has all the reasons in the world to leave. He also knows that this is not what they do, not included in the arrangement, that he’s crossing that line in the sand, but for once, just for once. He’s being selfish and he doesn’t care.

 

Jimin stares impassive.

 

“Please,” Chanyong begs this time, and kisses Jimin — it’s a cheap trick, but it must work somehow, because Jimin parts his lips and lets Chanyong in, lets Chanyong distract him. 

Jimin stays the night, and he’s there, in the morning, breathing softly next to Chanyong. He’ll stay for now. He’ll let Chanyong distract him, let Chanyong hold him, pretend he hasn’t decided, pretend — one day, just one day. Just one more.

Someday they’ll run out of _just one more day_. But until then, Jimin will pretend to fall for the transparent lie — after all, he is partial to the obvious ones, just as Chanyong is.

 

**Author's Note:**

> _Chanyong is the sand — he will and can leave any moment. They’re just waiting for the wind, the waves, or even one of them to get tired and smudge away that line._
> 
>  
> 
> ...I swear to god I can never write a happy Ambition x Wraith fic ever. ~~also will i ever stop writing ambition x wraith where ambition is still hung up on flame? never~~
> 
> In my mind, Ambition and Wraith are both a "hard to read type" where they keep their cards close to their heart. Flame is obviously transparent to the bone so there is Ambition's type, and Fury tends to be open about how much he likes Wraith, so that was my inspiration. When those two "hard to read" types meet, and use/manipulate each other in order to forget... that's what I imagine these two's relationship to be like.
> 
> Also congratulations to Ambition on his marriage to Solji. And yes I am an asshole for writing this fic then congratulating him on his marriage in the same breath.
> 
> Also where is Wraith now, fml. ~~he's not on samsung anymore right ah curse my timing with these fics~~


End file.
